Friday, 10 May 2013

Pick up the pieces

I got hit by a car near Christmas time that year, I was on my way to a kumon class and I was 10 and my Dad was in his car on the other side of the road so I thought it wouldn't be too much of a challenge to crossover however it turned out the traffic lights weren't operating accurately and as the green man flashed at me I stepped on to the road and next thing I know I am sprawled across the road floor with my Dad trying to lift me and strangers screaming 'CALL 999!' 'Is she ok?' 'Get an ambulance here right now' however I was in such a state of shock I had no clue what had happened and as I fought against my Dad to escape his arms and run back home up the road into my mother's I ran and still I couldn't feel a thing other than the blank stares of people. As I reached my house I rang the bell now feeling the blood on my face and the break in my jaw, the slit in my eyelid and eye, the grit in my lips, my chipped, broken teeth, my chin hanging away. I broke down I had no idea what to do other than cry and wait for my Mum she arrived at the door and joined me in crying she cradled me screaming "my baby, my baby, why, please, baby" I ran to look at my face now noticing the pain in my legs and arms. The physical recovery was one thing but mentally I was in pieces I went through hallucinations I was severely depressed I resorted to self-harming, which I won't go into, this was now at the age of 11 as I spent my birthday in hospital getting stitches. My life had fallen apart. I felt there was no space for me on Earth but a space in heaven. I looked at everything in a negative light, there wasn't an inch of hope in my body just tears and pain. It took me months to recover physically but mentally it took me 2-3 years as I had suffered from minor brain damage it had effected my ability to learn to I went back to school and apparently in the eyes of my classmates I was a recently glued back together china doll-untouchable literally which at the time I was glad as I had suffered enough due to contact to vehicles or fists.

I recovered two years later due to beautiful people such as Julia Avnon the angel that gave me a reason to live, she is an amazing person. 

However I carry on, wake up with a smile in my face(not really, more like a tired, feeble version of a grin) and I go to school everyday to see my friends at yet another new school due to to moving because of bullies, insults, lies and rumours. I also think that a reason I moved was to leave the car accident along with the school. 
I wrote this to get it out there it's not a massive trauma like what some people have been through but it's my story and it's what has made me the person I am today I have wonderful friends and a fantastic family who help me pave my way through life.
My wonderful family

My girlies

If you are feeling down message me and you will be certain to turn off your computer with positive thoughts streaming through your body, it's a promise.
If I can do it, you can too, have faith and hope, and remember "today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday"
PLEASE COMMENT, i'd love to hear from you
xo xo -aa

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