Morning Errands

"When life gives me lemons I make lemonade"

It's been a while but that's mainly because I have really had nothing to post which is sad :( seeing as the extent of my activities the past 9 weeks have been lying in bed and sleeping seeing as I have had shingles which has progressed into post-therpatic neuralgia which is just as horrible as it sounds..HORRIBLE.

Waking up at around 4am has become part of my routine I won't sleep a lot because of the pain and normally I just come downstairs into my kitchen and snuggle with my pup and wait it out, but this time I decided I could use this pain to create a song, see I Have come to this conclusion of 'life has chosen me to take on whatever challenge it feels like giving out' I am the 'life challenges target'. If you look at some of my earlier posts you will see my challenges I have been graced with ;). 

Snap of the one of the roses 

Anyway I decided to make the most of it so I wrote a song, you may know I am a singer/songwriter (I hate using that term it makes me feel eugh I don't know just ew) and I received a beautiful get well soon card from a lovely family friend and she described this illness as a curveball that life has given me to make me stronger. I liked that and wouldn't ya know the song is called "Curveballs". I''ll post it in next post :)

A snippet of the letter

Have a lovely day!

xo xo 

-AA

"Never Ending Pain" (Original Song)-Anoushka Abel one of my originals!
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Albums

"Music fills the stillness"

You may get to a point in life where you feel like jazzing up your music taste and this stuff may not be your kind of stuff but it's mine and I believe I have a very eclectic taste in music meaning I have a wide variety of taste.

 Right now i'm listening to Birdy, she has a beautiful talent and she has a unique voice with a soothing tone to it, this album is an album that you would be play on Christmas Eve while snuggled around the fireplace with a cup of tea and watching the snow. It's a beautiful album.

^Birdy^

Another I would recommend is Amy Winehouse-Frank. This album is filled with talent of the one and only Amy she was a beautiful singer that continues to inspire me everyday, she went through a lot through her lifetime and when she passed she passed with a tortured soul and through her voice you can hear this the pain, love loss, and addictions along with her talented handwritten words.

Frank+Lioness:Hidden Treasures

One of my favourite artists is Frank Ocean he has the most unique voice I have heard since Marvin Gaye (another legend) he has two albums my favourite is Channel Orange, channel orange won a Grammy this year, and it was well deserved his music is like no other he uses sounds as well as instruments you will understand this when you listen to him. He is superb although takes a coupl'a listens to see this.

Frank's Album

Miguel is a similar artist but also different he has a gorgeous smooth voice and his album Kaleidoscope Dream is a great album with many fantastic catchy tracks. If you like Marvin Gaye you will most likely love Miguel they have similar voices although, I think Marvin Gaye is the King of motown so yeah.

The xx are a great unique band they create soothing melodies. There music is hard to describe but i would recommend their album: XX

If you wanna explore music, go to a store in Brick Lane called Rough Trade it is amazing and you meet people who like the same stuff as you. Brick Lane is a great place.

If you aren't  a trekker I would advise you strongly to get a soundcloud account it is a phenomenal site.

https://soundcloud.com/anoushkaabel - my profile, check it out!

If you want more music advice feel free to comment and ask i'll be happy to chat!

Negative - Posititve

"baby don't worry, 'bout a thing cos' every little thing is gonna be alright"

This past month I have been suffering from shingles and I was going to write a post about how shitty it is to have shingles but then figured that that will not help me get through it so i'm going to write a post on.

How to change your outlook on life

from negative to positive:

You have probably been sad for so long that sadness becomes comfortable and you forget  what it's like to be happy and truly be 'fine'.

Now the first step is that you NEED to confide in someone that is :

1. Trustworthy
2. Positive
3. Grounded meaning they don't have problems of their own to sort out, there is nothing worse than pouring your problems onto someone else when they have problems of their own that they need to sort out.
4. Understanding and helpful

Second step is that you need to find something you can pour your feelings into, when I say this I am saying anything that DOESN'T include you harming yourself.

Self harm is never worth anything.

If you have no clue as to what you could possibly do to let out your emotions to here are some:

• A yoga class
• Dance
• Painting/Drawing
• Music (writing, finding new music that you enjoy)
• Sports (I find tennis can let out frustration and swimming is classed as a type of meditation)
• If you have done something in the past that you thought ooh I liked that go back and do it and make it a priority
• Put yourself into work this may seem quite boring but it is something that creates a feeling of achievement within.

"Tidy environment=Tidy mind"

Third step

If you spend a night on tidying your room from ceiling to floor I can guarantee that you will feel like you have accomplished something and you will go to sleep happy.

Fourth step is that you have to concentrate on yourself and be selfish obviously unlike all the other steps  this is only temporary until you feel truly happy in life. One of my biggest flaws I think is that I will do ANYTHING to help anyone other that me and although that makes me feel good and feel like I have helped someone out I make my self responsible for their issues which is not good.

If you feel too selfish having your focus on JUST you for weeks maybe do every other week a 'me' week (meek) ;) and plan different thing that you know will make YOU smile.

Last step

Say YES!

Saying yes to things that you wouldn't normally take a chance on. This expands your opportunities you could fall in love, create new friendships, get a job, go skydiving all from saying the word YES!

Pick up the pieces

I got hit by a car near Christmas time that year, I was on my way to a kumon class and I was 10 and my Dad was in his car on the other side of the road so I thought it wouldn't be too much of a challenge to crossover however it turned out the traffic lights weren't operating accurately and as the green man flashed at me I stepped on to the road and next thing I know I am sprawled across the road floor with my Dad trying to lift me and strangers screaming 'CALL 999!' 'Is she ok?' 'Get an ambulance here right now' however I was in such a state of shock I had no clue what had happened and as I fought against my Dad to escape his arms and run back home up the road into my mother's I ran and still I couldn't feel a thing other than the blank stares of people. As I reached my house I rang the bell now feeling the blood on my face and the break in my jaw, the slit in my eyelid and eye, the grit in my lips, my chipped, broken teeth, my chin hanging away. I broke down I had no idea what to do other than cry and wait for my Mum she arrived at the door and joined me in crying she cradled me screaming "my baby, my baby, why, please, baby" I ran to look at my face now noticing the pain in my legs and arms. The physical recovery was one thing but mentally I was in pieces I went through hallucinations I was severely depressed I resorted to self-harming, which I won't go into, this was now at the age of 11 as I spent my birthday in hospital getting stitches. My life had fallen apart. I felt there was no space for me on Earth but a space in heaven. I looked at everything in a negative light, there wasn't an inch of hope in my body just tears and pain. It took me months to recover physically but mentally it took me 2-3 years as I had suffered from minor brain damage it had effected my ability to learn to I went back to school and apparently in the eyes of my classmates I was a recently glued back together china doll-untouchable literally which at the time I was glad as I had suffered enough due to contact to vehicles or fists.

I recovered two years later due to beautiful people such as Julia Avnon the angel that gave me a reason to live, she is an amazing person. 

However I carry on, wake up with a smile in my face(not really, more like a tired, feeble version of a grin) and I go to school everyday to see my friends at yet another new school due to to moving because of bullies, insults, lies and rumours. I also think that a reason I moved was to leave the car accident along with the school. 

I wrote this to get it out there it's not a massive trauma like what some people have been through but it's my story and it's what has made me the person I am today I have wonderful friends and a fantastic family who help me pave my way through life.

My wonderful family

My girlies

If you are feeling down message me and you will be certain to turn off your computer with positive thoughts streaming through your body, it's a promise.

If I can do it, you can too, have faith and hope, and remember "today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday"
PLEASE COMMENT, i'd love to hear from you

xo xo -aa

Trauma

 I have suffered with eczema and asthma all my life starting from when I was born, you may think that eczema is just a skin disease it's itchy and annoying..yes, but not only is it that, it is a gateway people see to pop in an insult just to make them feel better about themselves but what they don't think about is the effect it has on the sufferer. Being asked "why is your skin so red, it looks weird"is what make my self esteem crumble to a million pieces, since primary school I have been insecure of my skin and I would do anything to cover it up I would never wear short sleeved shirts (summer was not an exception) it would be long sleeved jumpers an jeans all year round and as for my face there was nothing I could do other than hear the insults and look strong until I got home where I would cry and feel the sting it brought to my face. This may sound like a 'sob-story' but it's not it's just what life has given me so make me strong in the future which it has. Asthma was never a big insecurity of mine seeing as you could hide it but it was hard to handle when you were so young. So I got through primary school however I moved at the age of 7 years old due to my teacher actually joining in with the bullies and their insults, thankfully she was fired. I then moved to an all girls school, prepared for a new start and a new me and that was great no one noticed my flaws but just my smile, until I met two girls who I became good friends with and little did I know it was all a fake in order to punch/hit/kick/slap me at lunch time at first I didn't know what to do. Do I tell my mum? Do I fight back? I decided to answer no to both these questions until I got punched so hard in the stomach I was in tears and this wasn't easy to hide from the teachers, I was glad I felt as if maybe my silence paid off. When the two girls were sorted out let's say. I decided to go in to my next year of school bruise-less and with a smile on my face this worked UNTIL(next post-'Pick up the pieces')...
PLEASE COMMENT

xoxo-aa

Vent O'Clock

Hello, my name is Anoushka.
I have made this blog to VENT and hopefully allow some of you to be able to relate to things I have been through. I have been through a lot and i'm not gonna say I haven't and that I am past it because i'm not it's human nature, i'm not gonna pretend.
Anyway that'll be later but for now i'm gonna bore or entertain you(whatever way you wanna look at it)

ME-

• I love to sing it has always been a passion of mine and recently songwriting has become another strategy of 'venting'
• If you don't know what venting means it means basically to let it all out without holding back, I use that word a lot.
• I am a massive fan of. Gossip Girl (as you may have seen by my blog title 'A by A' a mock of Serena's blog "S by S'. I am also a fan of Vampire Diaries, True Blood, FUNNILY NOT TWILIGHT.
• I love John Hughes films (old movies)
• I love yoga, meditation and that spiritual stuff.
• Music is a necessity it's my equivalent to oxygen.
• I love acting (Blake Lively is my queen).
• I am doing my GCSE's.
• I am happy :) 

What would make me even happier was if you looked/followed my blog.

Enjoy 

XO XO -AA

that is me btw