Negative - Posititve

"baby don't worry, 'bout a thing cos' every little thing is gonna be alright"

This past month I have been suffering from shingles and I was going to write a post about how shitty it is to have shingles but then figured that that will not help me get through it so i'm going to write a post on.

How to change your outlook on life

from negative to positive:

You have probably been sad for so long that sadness becomes comfortable and you forget  what it's like to be happy and truly be 'fine'.

Now the first step is that you NEED to confide in someone that is :

1. Trustworthy
2. Positive
3. Grounded meaning they don't have problems of their own to sort out, there is nothing worse than pouring your problems onto someone else when they have problems of their own that they need to sort out.
4. Understanding and helpful

Second step is that you need to find something you can pour your feelings into, when I say this I am saying anything that DOESN'T include you harming yourself.

Self harm is never worth anything.

If you have no clue as to what you could possibly do to let out your emotions to here are some:

• A yoga class
• Dance
• Painting/Drawing
• Music (writing, finding new music that you enjoy)
• Sports (I find tennis can let out frustration and swimming is classed as a type of meditation)
• If you have done something in the past that you thought ooh I liked that go back and do it and make it a priority
• Put yourself into work this may seem quite boring but it is something that creates a feeling of achievement within.

"Tidy environment=Tidy mind"

Third step

If you spend a night on tidying your room from ceiling to floor I can guarantee that you will feel like you have accomplished something and you will go to sleep happy.

Fourth step is that you have to concentrate on yourself and be selfish obviously unlike all the other steps  this is only temporary until you feel truly happy in life. One of my biggest flaws I think is that I will do ANYTHING to help anyone other that me and although that makes me feel good and feel like I have helped someone out I make my self responsible for their issues which is not good.

If you feel too selfish having your focus on JUST you for weeks maybe do every other week a 'me' week (meek) ;) and plan different thing that you know will make YOU smile.

Last step

Say YES!

Saying yes to things that you wouldn't normally take a chance on. This expands your opportunities you could fall in love, create new friendships, get a job, go skydiving all from saying the word YES!

Pick up the pieces

I got hit by a car near Christmas time that year, I was on my way to a kumon class and I was 10 and my Dad was in his car on the other side of the road so I thought it wouldn't be too much of a challenge to crossover however it turned out the traffic lights weren't operating accurately and as the green man flashed at me I stepped on to the road and next thing I know I am sprawled across the road floor with my Dad trying to lift me and strangers screaming 'CALL 999!' 'Is she ok?' 'Get an ambulance here right now' however I was in such a state of shock I had no clue what had happened and as I fought against my Dad to escape his arms and run back home up the road into my mother's I ran and still I couldn't feel a thing other than the blank stares of people. As I reached my house I rang the bell now feeling the blood on my face and the break in my jaw, the slit in my eyelid and eye, the grit in my lips, my chipped, broken teeth, my chin hanging away. I broke down I had no idea what to do other than cry and wait for my Mum she arrived at the door and joined me in crying she cradled me screaming "my baby, my baby, why, please, baby" I ran to look at my face now noticing the pain in my legs and arms. The physical recovery was one thing but mentally I was in pieces I went through hallucinations I was severely depressed I resorted to self-harming, which I won't go into, this was now at the age of 11 as I spent my birthday in hospital getting stitches. My life had fallen apart. I felt there was no space for me on Earth but a space in heaven. I looked at everything in a negative light, there wasn't an inch of hope in my body just tears and pain. It took me months to recover physically but mentally it took me 2-3 years as I had suffered from minor brain damage it had effected my ability to learn to I went back to school and apparently in the eyes of my classmates I was a recently glued back together china doll-untouchable literally which at the time I was glad as I had suffered enough due to contact to vehicles or fists.

I recovered two years later due to beautiful people such as Julia Avnon the angel that gave me a reason to live, she is an amazing person. 

However I carry on, wake up with a smile in my face(not really, more like a tired, feeble version of a grin) and I go to school everyday to see my friends at yet another new school due to to moving because of bullies, insults, lies and rumours. I also think that a reason I moved was to leave the car accident along with the school. 

I wrote this to get it out there it's not a massive trauma like what some people have been through but it's my story and it's what has made me the person I am today I have wonderful friends and a fantastic family who help me pave my way through life.

My wonderful family

My girlies

If you are feeling down message me and you will be certain to turn off your computer with positive thoughts streaming through your body, it's a promise.

If I can do it, you can too, have faith and hope, and remember "today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday"
PLEASE COMMENT, i'd love to hear from you

xo xo -aa

Trauma

 I have suffered with eczema and asthma all my life starting from when I was born, you may think that eczema is just a skin disease it's itchy and annoying..yes, but not only is it that, it is a gateway people see to pop in an insult just to make them feel better about themselves but what they don't think about is the effect it has on the sufferer. Being asked "why is your skin so red, it looks weird"is what make my self esteem crumble to a million pieces, since primary school I have been insecure of my skin and I would do anything to cover it up I would never wear short sleeved shirts (summer was not an exception) it would be long sleeved jumpers an jeans all year round and as for my face there was nothing I could do other than hear the insults and look strong until I got home where I would cry and feel the sting it brought to my face. This may sound like a 'sob-story' but it's not it's just what life has given me so make me strong in the future which it has. Asthma was never a big insecurity of mine seeing as you could hide it but it was hard to handle when you were so young. So I got through primary school however I moved at the age of 7 years old due to my teacher actually joining in with the bullies and their insults, thankfully she was fired. I then moved to an all girls school, prepared for a new start and a new me and that was great no one noticed my flaws but just my smile, until I met two girls who I became good friends with and little did I know it was all a fake in order to punch/hit/kick/slap me at lunch time at first I didn't know what to do. Do I tell my mum? Do I fight back? I decided to answer no to both these questions until I got punched so hard in the stomach I was in tears and this wasn't easy to hide from the teachers, I was glad I felt as if maybe my silence paid off. When the two girls were sorted out let's say. I decided to go in to my next year of school bruise-less and with a smile on my face this worked UNTIL(next post-'Pick up the pieces')...
PLEASE COMMENT

xoxo-aa